1. The Best Way to Have Lopsided Relationships
We all love ways to optimize our ability to keep connected with our friends, especially when we have friends in different cities and different professions. I love being able to update my status and share pictures of my weekend motorcycle excursions with my “friends” on Facebook. The process of posting isn’t what I enjoy. It’s the reaction and comments I get from those who read my status updates – a handful of comments is rare. But my experience has repeatedly been a bit lopsided. Everyone else is absorbing what I’m sharing, but I’m not necessarily able to enjoy the same from my friends because many don’t put that much effort into sharing. There’s nothing wrong with that – but it’s a side-effect, if you will, of relying on social media to maintain relationships. It’s replacing that phone call question, “So what have you been doing lately?”
Instead of picking up the phone or making the effort to drive a distance to see some of my closest friends, I fall victim to social media laziness. And, as a result, I miss out on the rich interaction of being in person and sharing a cup of coffee. Ironically, my best friend doesn’t use Facebook and I really look forward to meeting him for lunch as often as I can to catch up. Interestingly, I think Facebook or Twitter would actually come in-between us in a bad way. Similarly, when I do connect with my friends that read my posts, I find they already know about everything I’ve done and I end up “shocked” that they’re so caught up.
So my point is that you shouldn’t let social media get in the way of good, old-fashioned personal interaction with those you wish to have meaningful relationships with. Don’t forgo coffee or that boring drive to see your friends and family just because you now have Facebook. Don’t think that because you’re Facebook “friends” with a famous reporter at your local TV station that they know, or care, about you. You still need to develop an interpersonal relationship.
2. Using 140 Characters Is Not a Conversation
If you’re familiar with Twitter, you know that the limit to your “tweets,” or insightful thoughts, is 140 characters. It’s interesting that Twitter “traditionalists” say that the whole point of Twitter is to have a conversation — a two-way street where people interact. Well, my experience with Twitter is less conversation and more contest – who can get the most followers and post the most “tweets.” Ashton or Oprah good enough examples? Now I’m not speaking on the quality of the free service as much as I am my practical experience with it. I’ve employed my Twitter account (@procomkelly) as a place where I can broadcast things I find interesting enough to share, but not so interesting that it would warrant a blog post (www.procommunicator.com). I’m experimenting with it and trying to find the right place for it in my toolbox, but I’m long past considering it a tool to have a conversation with people.
3. You Need to Make the Right Decisions, Early On
In one breath I’d encourage anyone and everyone to experiment with social media tools like Twitter, Facebook, Linkedin and everything else out there that’s popular. However, in another breath I’d caution you not to jump into the deep end of the social media tool pool and start posting all your photos and commenting on the state of the Union. Before you know it, you’ll get a friend request from your boss; a photo of you from a political rally will be tagged with you in it (I’m sure there’s a few out there of me); and your mother will somehow end up finding your Flickr photostream and ask why she wasn’t invited to that dinner party (oh, and confront you on lying to her about where you were that weekend). All of your profiles and accounts are, by default, open to the world until you figure out how to manage the privacy settings. By that time, it’s usually too late – and your boss is wondering why you haven’t accepted his friend request. Yikes!
So make a decision early on what each of these tools is meant to accomplish for you. Is it for personal relationships? Business contacts? Purely professional? For example, I have a Twitter account (@procomkelly) that is solely a companion to my tools and tips blog (www.procommunicator.com). I’ve decided I won’t be posting family pictures or blabbing my political opinion diatribe on there because that audience doesn’t care and that’s not the point of my blog. I’ve made a decision that my Twitter account is intended as a companion microblog, and as a tool to drive traffic to my website. That’s where I’ll be posting helpful stuff that my colleagues (you) should find useful. As for Facebook, well I have a couple hundred “friends,” many of which I haven’t even met. I’m still debating how, and if, I’m going to clean that up. See, I put the cart before the horse, and if I delete a bunch of “friends” that really aren’t personal friends, there are unintended consequences and fallout. What to do. Hmm… My point exactly.
4. Technology Shouldn’t Feel Like a Flu Shot
Just because Oprah is Twittering or your colleagues are asking you what your screen name is – and you don’t have one, doesn’t mean you need one. I have done several presentations before groups of public information officers, public relations professionals and public officials. The minute I start talking about Flickr, MySpace, Twitter or Blogging, I will see a few people roll their eyes or give that look of “What the heck are you talking about?!”
Right off the bat I make it clear to those I’m presenting to: Just because everyone else is doing it doesn’t mean you have to. I tell people to remember that all this “online stuff” is simply a bunch of tools that you can considering using if it works for you. Just because you hear that I’ve used web pages, blogs, auto responders, photo sharing sites and SMS notification tools for high profile media cases doesn’t mean you have to know it all, too. This is no different than deciding whether or not you use a word processor or just hand write talking points for a press conference. At the end of the day, all that matters is whether or not you were able to reach your audience with those messages you scribbled or neatly typed.
Now, I will admit that I’ve seen quite a bit of peer pressure mounting in this arena. When I did a presentation before a public relations group in Sacramento recently, a person came up to me after and whispered that she doesn’t know anything about Twitter and her coworkers make fun of her. She was almost ashamed, and said she “felt stupid” because everyone else knows about Twitter and she doesn’t. I reassured her that you don’t have to keep up with anyone. Set aside some time and get online with these tools to play with them. Use Google to search for things you’re not sure about and read what others are saying. You might just find that using them is not that scary and could prove easier in the long run. But find out at your own pace. You’re in control, not the technology.
5. Don’t Put all Your Eggs in One Virtual Basket
I’m just a naturally curious person and won’t hesitate to open a new account just about anywhere (as long as its free). I have a LinkedIn account that I’ve not really paid much attention to – although I’m finding that I probably should because some of my colleagues are sending me messages on there instead of email. I had a MySpace account that drove me crazy – mostly because every time I opened someone else’s profile I’d have to listen to their favorite music embedded on their profile page. Head Banger Music Anyone? Mute! But what’s even funnier is that when I tell people I spend more time on Facebook than MySpace, some react by treating me as a traitor. Really? Then they go on to tell me about how X is better than Y and I shouldn’t use Y. Seriously? Kudos for having an opinion and sticking with something, but the argument is flawed to begin with.
Here’s the bottom line. If you want to enrich your online experience; gain insight from a wide range of colleagues or friends; drive traffic to your website; discover new things and enjoy your experience – then you need to diversify and explore. Don’t get caught up in what everyone else thinks. Look at #3 above to decide what you’re using the tools for and then start exploring everything available. Nothing says you have to stay on a site – most have an easy way to delete your profile. Done! Next!
A Place to Go
- 42+ Social Media Marketing Tools. I knew you would ask, so here’s a great post on Junta42 Blog that has a collection of social media tools to play with. I could come up with my own list, but Joe’s got it nailed.
- Here’s Joe’s blog: http://www.junta42.com/ (thanks Joe!)
Related posts:
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
At the end of the day it is about human interaction, nothing complicated, technology simply empowers these processes. Add value. Word.
Kelly…fantastic post and thanks for the shout out.
I love it…social media laziness. So true, so true.
Best
Joe
Adrian, you’re so right… I just had to learn it the hard way (twice)! Thanks for the comment.
Joe – You have a fantastic blog and I’m glad I stumbled across it. Stay tuned for more linking – cuz I CAN be lazy since you’re already putting together some great lists and content.
Adrian- You are so right. Social media et all, is just a tool. A way to reach out and connect and share. There is nothing better then meeting someone where THEY are, to press the flesh or better yet, share a meal.
Thank you!
As my good friend from New York would say, “Ain’t nuthin’ betta than breakin’ some bread, my friend.”